come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i barfeds in our rink
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
