i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
