is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
