if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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