"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
