Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
