My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
