last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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