So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
