We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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