Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
