your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
