Got a toothbrush?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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