i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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