Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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