with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize