Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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