Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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