Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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