Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
