Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
