You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
