It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
