when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
