The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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