I got chris browned last night
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
