i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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