in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Is it penis luge time yet?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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