If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
