I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize