I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize