why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
