Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
