So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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