i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize