okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
