Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You ate ashes out of my bong
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize