So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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