i wish my penis had a tongue
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
