It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
