therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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