You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize
