# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
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