I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I love you.
Bad choice
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
