I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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