dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
