3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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