it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
