Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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