I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
