I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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