do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I love how my cats smell like pot.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize