Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
