Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
