I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
