I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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