I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I didn't notice because vodka
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
