i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
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