He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
