DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
