a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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