You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
