why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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