And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
