Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
