I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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